Taking pride in your work is one thing. Letting it determine your worth is another.
For years, we learned to answer “Who are you?” with a profession, a title or an employer’s name. We gave the answer so automatically that we stopped noticing what it left out: our choices, relationships, abilities and contradictions.
The problem is not taking pride in our work.
The problem begins when work becomes the main source of our identity. A change of role, the loss of recognition or a clash of values can then feel like a threat to who we are — not simply a career decision.
That is one reason why capable people sometimes stay too long in jobs that no longer make sense. Leaving can threaten a story they have spent years telling about themselves: “I am the one who copes. The one who fixes things. The one who always shows up.”
A career can be part of our story. It does not have to be the whole story.
THE QUESTION THAT CHANGES THE CONVERSATION
Instead of asking “Should I stay or leave?”, start with “What am I trying to protect by staying?” It might be financial security, belonging, status, stability or a fear of starting again. Each answer calls for a different decision.
A better decision separates real needs from familiar habits. It takes stock of what staying provides, what it costs and what might happen if nothing changes. This is not a test of courage. It is an exercise in clarity.
O Teu Próximo Passo was written for that in-between moment: recognising that something has changed but not yet knowing what to do next. Not to prescribe leaving, but to restore judgement to the decision.
A practical exercise, without rushing to a verdict
Write three sentences without worrying about the perfect answer: what I want to keep from my current job, what no longer makes sense and what change I can test in the next 30 days. The point is not to rush a final decision, but to stop acting on autopilot.
Before mistaking exhaustion for a lack of vocation, examine the context too. Some personal problems call for individual reflection; others stem from work systems that no longer function. The difference changes what we can reasonably ask of ourselves and our organisations.
The book explores this journey through three movements — See Clearly, Decide and Move Forward — and includes practical tools to help apply them.